COPING WITH CHANGE

As soon as something nudges us out of our regular routine, or challenges our understanding of how the world works and where we it into it, we’re likely to experience a deluge of feelings, including fear, anxiety, overwhelm, excitement, distraction or denial. In turn, those feelings can manifest
in behavior. You may, unconsciously, act out with aggressive or passive aggressive communication. You may push yourself to overwork or take the opposite approach and procrastinate, avoiding what’s on your plate. Your self-care may suffer. You may reach for unhealthy substances or behaviors, get less sleep, skip meals or overindulge. You might cut yourself off from friends and family and spend more time alone or with people who have unhealthy habits. The Impact Stress from both positive and negative change can have immediate and longterm effects. Stress inhibits digestion and absorption of nutrients, impairs your body’s ability to ward off germs, can cause insomnia and worsen preexisting health conditions. If you’re
also engaging in unhealthy behaviors and poor self-care, you’re at an even higher risk for illness or injury. Mental abilities can be affected, as well. When you’re preoccupied, worried and focused on the future instead of the present, it’s much harder to concentrate and/or apply your brainpower to what’s in front of you. Great leaders are admired for their serenity and confidence in the face of uncertainty. For many of us, though, when change is afoot, serenity is far from our reach. Instead, emotions are much closer to the surface and can flare up at inopportune times. Whether you lash out, cry or pound on your desk, it’s uncomfortable to feel out of control. How to Cope with Change Here are five strategies to help you face change:

1. Take care of your body. Eat well, sleep
   well, exercise to discharge stress and
   refrain from harmful habits, such
   as smoking, excessive drinking,
   recreational drugs or other risky
   behavior.



2. Take care of your mind. Stay in the
   present moment by practicing
   deep breathing and/or meditation.
   Challenge your negative thinking and
   keep things in perspective


3. Express your emotions in healthy ways.
   Share them with your therapist and
   people you trust. Vent your negative
   feelings by pounding on a pillow or
   banging on a drum.


4. Treat others well. Strengthen your
   good relationships so you can draw
   on their support, and work at your
   challenging relationships so they
   don’t add to your stress.


5. Take charge. Be proactive and prepare
   the best you can for the changes
   that might come, but then accept the
   reality of the moment. Think back
   to other challenges you’ve come
   through and remind yourself that
   everything will work out okay this
   time, too.
   

Into every life change will come, but its lasting impact doesn’t have to be harmful. Change also has a way of opening new and rewarding doors. Bottom line, let change be the catalys for better self-care, which will feed you in all times, stable and uncertain. *

The Holidays: Here They Come, Ready or Not

When the weather changes and the leaves begin to wither, it starts. By Halloween, it’s gathering momentum and by Thanksgiving, it has us in a full-body press. “It” is The Holidays, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply “the season,” what everybody has in common this last quarter of the year is stress with a capital S. No wonder. All those events and activities, family gatherings. The kids are out of school again, house guests are coming, or you’re planning a trip. Don’t even mention shopping for gifts, sending greeting cards or decorating the house. The credit cards are maxed out, you’ve got more chores than you can shake a stick at and your “to do” list is longer than Santa’s beard. And you swore it would all be different this year. Take heart. It’s not too late. With intention, it really can be different this year. First thing to remember: take good care of yourself: Eat healthfully, get plenty of rest, exercise, drink lots of water. Breathe deeply. Relax and have fun. During the holidays when already too-busy lives become even more hectic, some serious time management is in order. Write down a list of all the things you want to do. Prioritize. Assign some chores to the children. Consider scratching a few items off your list. Make a budget and stick to it. Remember, it’s not the price, but the thoughtfulness of the gift. Use gift certifi- cates if you’re unsure of what to give. Remember, adults aren’t the only ones who feel more stress during the holiday season. Children experience it, too. Keep communications lines open and spend quality time with your youngsters. This is a wonderful time to share your family’s holiday traditions through storytelling or special seasonal activities. Getting the young ones outside the house, for full body exercise will help them and you to work off stress. Go out and play together. Having house guests? Try to make them as self-suf- ficient as possible. Ask for help. And even though it might be fun, don’t wear yourself out by staying up late every night, or stuffing each day as full as a Christmas goose.

Family gatherings may be complex, given blended families and special holiday arrangements. Conflicting family expectations and demands can create guilt and resentment. If family gatherings cause tension and anxiety, consider alternatives that can lessen the effects. Make plans well enough in advance to avoid any last minute surprises or disappointments. Finally, take time for yourself. Find a place where you can be quiet and restful. Take a walk, breathe in the fresh air. Look around you, notice nature’s response to the season and let yourself be amazed. Those Holiday Blues Are Real It’s not unusual to feel down during the holidays. In fact, so many people experience feelings of sadness or loss, of being overwhelmed at this time of year, even the name for it has become a cliché: the Holiday Blues. As the name implies, these blues are seasonal. When the holidays are over, they’ll probably disappear right along with the decorations and last of the Christmas cookies. But they are real and their symptoms can dampen an otherwise joyous holiday experience. Here are some symptoms and some solutions:
• Feelings of loss or separation from loved ones may be intensified during the holidays.
• Fatigue from holiday stress affects you emotionally as well as physically.
• Families and family traditions change. Are you hanging onto old ideas or pictures?
• Media images of the perfect holidays seldom match anyone's real life. Check your expectations against the reality of your situation.
• Over-indulging in food and drink will have aftereffects. So will lack of physical exercise, sleep and rest.
• If you're feeling "the blues," get support from friends and family. Don't isolate.
• These feelings are real and valid. Acknowledge them.
• Make time to refill yourself.
• Understand that this is a stressful time. And that it will be over. Experiencing the holiday blues is part of the common experience.
Feelings beyond "the blues" and feelings that are more debilitating, or that extend beyond the holiday season, may signal depression. If this is true for you, don't hesitate to ask for help.