The Holidays: Here They Come, Ready or Not

When the weather changes and the leaves begin to wither, it starts. By Halloween, it’s gathering momentum and by Thanksgiving, it has us in a full-body press. “It” is The Holidays, and whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or simply “the season,” what everybody has in common this last quarter of the year is stress with a capital S. No wonder. All those events and activities, family gatherings. The kids are out of school again, house guests are coming, or you’re planning a trip. Don’t even mention shopping for gifts, sending greeting cards or decorating the house. The credit cards are maxed out, you’ve got more chores than you can shake a stick at and your “to do” list is longer than Santa’s beard. And you swore it would all be different this year. Take heart. It’s not too late. With intention, it really can be different this year. First thing to remember: take good care of yourself: Eat healthfully, get plenty of rest, exercise, drink lots of water. Breathe deeply. Relax and have fun. During the holidays when already too-busy lives become even more hectic, some serious time management is in order. Write down a list of all the things you want to do. Prioritize. Assign some chores to the children. Consider scratching a few items off your list. Make a budget and stick to it. Remember, it’s not the price, but the thoughtfulness of the gift. Use gift certifi- cates if you’re unsure of what to give. Remember, adults aren’t the only ones who feel more stress during the holiday season. Children experience it, too. Keep communications lines open and spend quality time with your youngsters. This is a wonderful time to share your family’s holiday traditions through storytelling or special seasonal activities. Getting the young ones outside the house, for full body exercise will help them and you to work off stress. Go out and play together. Having house guests? Try to make them as self-suf- ficient as possible. Ask for help. And even though it might be fun, don’t wear yourself out by staying up late every night, or stuffing each day as full as a Christmas goose.

Family gatherings may be complex, given blended families and special holiday arrangements. Conflicting family expectations and demands can create guilt and resentment. If family gatherings cause tension and anxiety, consider alternatives that can lessen the effects. Make plans well enough in advance to avoid any last minute surprises or disappointments. Finally, take time for yourself. Find a place where you can be quiet and restful. Take a walk, breathe in the fresh air. Look around you, notice nature’s response to the season and let yourself be amazed. Those Holiday Blues Are Real It’s not unusual to feel down during the holidays. In fact, so many people experience feelings of sadness or loss, of being overwhelmed at this time of year, even the name for it has become a cliché: the Holiday Blues. As the name implies, these blues are seasonal. When the holidays are over, they’ll probably disappear right along with the decorations and last of the Christmas cookies. But they are real and their symptoms can dampen an otherwise joyous holiday experience. Here are some symptoms and some solutions:
• Feelings of loss or separation from loved ones may be intensified during the holidays.
• Fatigue from holiday stress affects you emotionally as well as physically.
• Families and family traditions change. Are you hanging onto old ideas or pictures?
• Media images of the perfect holidays seldom match anyone's real life. Check your expectations against the reality of your situation.
• Over-indulging in food and drink will have aftereffects. So will lack of physical exercise, sleep and rest.
• If you're feeling "the blues," get support from friends and family. Don't isolate.
• These feelings are real and valid. Acknowledge them.
• Make time to refill yourself.
• Understand that this is a stressful time. And that it will be over. Experiencing the holiday blues is part of the common experience.
Feelings beyond "the blues" and feelings that are more debilitating, or that extend beyond the holiday season, may signal depression. If this is true for you, don't hesitate to ask for help.